I want to cast a spell

I want to cast a spell
But not a love spell
I don't want to steal a lock of your hair
while singing impenetrable incantations
neither want to tie you to me by force or magic

I want to cast a spell
but not a money spell
I don't want to wither like an ancient alchemist
searching for the secret of transmutation

I want to cast a spell
a spell of freedom and protection,
A healing spell to frighten away this sadness,
to shut up once for all the screaming of my old scars,
a spell to burn down
this fleet of black ships lying under the sun
as a premonition,
a spell to embrace love and life
and happiness and beauty and all those undefinable concepts
which only can be described with words that are not yet invented
or are too old to be remembered

Look at me
I am casting a spell
there are not lit candles or burned incense
I am not summoning the elements or inviting in the four directions.
I can recognize my voice
sweet and deep at the same time
here is me, simply,
shivering as a broken bird
face to face with my nude self